The courage of revealing “yourself”
There is a science for almost everything nowadays and even getting to know new friends or a possible partner for a relationship. These phases repeat and repeat until we made up our final decision. However, there is an open way to finding people that have the same drive as you without asking too many questions.
During a lecture with the wife of the Ihle CEO, a bakery with an annual turnover of around 200 million euros, she introduced herself very openly and gave us a so-called leap of trust in her. After a few minutes, she revealed very confidential information and gave us the opportunity to do the same. To this day, it is one of the best experiences I have had with trust after a short time. However, this bold act of courage does not come without disadvantages, because it makes you very vulnerable.
This openness doesn't particular cover secrets or information that we might not want to share right aware, but feelings and personal experiences that deeply affected you.
For example:
- I don't feel well and will go outside real quick to catch a breath
- Can we please talk about a different topic, because as a child …
- We shouldn't laugh about that, because …
At first these questions might sound not as interesting as they are, but when was the last time when you openly talked about your feelings in front of people that you don't know that well?
Another part is being honest with flaws you have. You might not be the best person with maths or geography 🙃.
The million-dollar question: Why should you be open about these “flaws” or feelings you have in certain situations sooner than later and not just be quiet?
- Your friends or partner are going to find out eventually. Better be you who controls in which scenario they get to know it. And everyone has them?!?
- You're looking for friends that truly like and support you how you are right? And they probably expect you to do the same.
- A leap of trust makes you vulnerable, but saves you a lot of time, if anyone actually attacks you.
How might that look in action?
- Text people right after meeting if you have the feeling something happened that you, or they are involved at.
- Be open about how you feel in certain situations. 99% of times people judge more by not knowing than having hard true facts.
- You don't have to trust everyone. Trust and liking are loosely coupled and don't depend on directly to one another. Just because you trust someone, doesn't mean you like them and the other way around.
Yes, this was more of a private and sensitive post, but it's all about the little leap of trust, right?
